The dreariness of everyday life, the banality of present reality in cruel juxtaposition with the delights of past fantasy and the dreaded re-adjustment to "here" as opposed to "there".
You know "there" - where the grass is always greener. . . . and it's true, it is greener. The grass and everything else that is "there".
It strikes me suddenly that I spend much of my life "there" and little of it "here".
As a consequence, "here" seems rather empty at times (especially when I return from "there") and "there" by comparison seems fuller, richer and more satisfying.
It is of course an illusion, a trick and a trap. If I spent all my time "there" then it would soon become "here" and that would defeat the object... perhaps I need to spend more time "here" and make it more like "there"?
I do miss the people from "there" though. They are fun, interesting, passionate, diverse and inspiring.
I miss the excitement of "there" and I miss the ephemeral qualities of "there" - a place that is constantly re-inventing itself, refreshing itself, being reborn.
Or perhaps it is me that re-invents myself, refreshes myself and is reborn, and "there" is just the context? Is this the basis of happiness and satisfaction or is it escapism and nihilism combined?
I think probably the latter confused for the former.
How sad!
I do apologize, this seems to have become a rather philosophical - not to mention existentialist - posting, so I will stop here to prevent straining the patience of the reader.
That said, I think if one reads the above carefully it will all make perfect sense.
And with that now dealt with . . .
Goodnight.
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