A challenge....
Pick the most gentle, kind and benificent person in the world....
Pick the person you love the most...
Now ask them to eat a nice crunchy apple while sitting two feet from you. Yes, two feet away.
The first crunch and munch won't bother you that much. It'll catch your attention, maybe even grate a little, but it's not a disaster.
The second crunch and munch might start to tick you off a little...the third for sure.
By about half way around the apple core, you are quietly contemplating painful deaths for the person that is literally torturing you with their noisy eating of noisy fruit. If they make it all the way to the end of the apple without at least one attempted assassination then they are indeed fortunate or you simply lack imagination in picking a method for their immediate demise.
Now that is for a loved one, an elder, a close friend.
Now imagine the fate of the stranger crunching and munching next to me with no thought or care for the others around him. Yes, I am murderous - and all the more so due to the cheesy American chewing his gum with an open mouth.
May they both rest in peace...
Anyway.... Got to fly now...
PS. This story is true except for the mysterious deaths of "Chewing Gum Man" and "Mr. Apple Head". Sadly they both live and will be torturing you in a lounge soon...
No comments:
Post a Comment