Thailand was the destination for my break over New Year and
it was my first proper trip to the country – having only seen the delights of
Bangkok airport previously while connecting to other places.
The Xmas / New Year period is very busy tourist-wise in
Thailand – due in no small part to the fact that the weather – especially for
Europeans and Westerners – is very pleasant compared to back home. Moreover,
Thailand is very affordable and offers a note of “exoticism” for many.
An uneventful flight from Dubai culminated in an early
morning arrival in Bangkok’s fairly impressive and sizeable airport. I was at
once very glad to be travelling business class and have access to Fast Track
through immigration as my companions faced massive queues in the regular
immigration lines and thus delays on getting through to our luggage.
Once cleared and luggage picked up we headed into downtown
Bangkok in a taxi to our hotel – the upmarket Banyan Tree.
My first observation is that Bangkok is far from the
semi-shanty, underdeveloped second world city I had imagined. It is very built
up, urbanized and pretty impressive in terms of its infrastructure.
Our hotel was situated centrally and while slightly
anonymous sitting back from the road behind another tower, it was to my mind
very pleasant and Asian service and hospitality was evident from arrival.
My room was very well appointed and very comfortable and I
was generally very impressed with the hotel – especially bearing in mind the price
of the room which was a third of what I would have paid in London or New York
for a comparable room or half of what I would have paid in Europe or the Middle
East.
The first day was spent fighting off the temptation to sleep - following a near sleepless night on the way on the plane – and visiting
notable sights in Bangkok. In particular the temple complex which we reached by
Long Tail boat (remember the James Bond movie The Man With The Golden Gun –
those boats) up the river. The river was absolutely filthy and moderately
smelly, the boat ride was “different” in terms of comfort, but overall fun and
a “must-do” experience when in Bangkok.
We wandered through sweltering humidity and not insignificant
temperatures (around 34 degrees) to find the Grand Palace Complex where we wanted to
see the Palace and the Temple of the Emerald Buddha etc.
I noticed that the Thais are
very good indeed at putting up signs to tell you what NOT to do and where NOT
to go – but are much worse at signage that is remotely helpful. Thus an almost
complete circuit of the temple complex resulted in us eventually finding the
main entrance whereupon we were told we could not enter wearing shorts and
skirts etc. (Very annoying as I’d worn my best skirt for the occasion . . .)
and were promptly ushered to an enormous queue to “borrow” appropriate clothing
– which in my case involved donning a pair of extremely thick “leisure trousers”
made of nylon and finished in a delightful “alimentary” brown colour, over the top of my shorts. Not only were they
ghastly to look at and hugely uncomfortable to wear –they also instantly
increased the temperature of my body to around 140 degrees from the waist down.
Nice. Not.
(Travel TIP: If anyone offers you the chance to boil your own genitals in a pair of thick brown trousers in order to revere the Buddha – I’d
recommend thinking twice before taking them up on it.)
The palaces and temples were indeed impressive for their bright
abundance of gold and semi precious stones and flamboyant architecture. The
complex was large and after a while we all had the impression that we had seen
as much gold as we ever wanted to . . . we eventually exited the complex and
were released from our nasty temple clothing and moved on down the road to the
next temple complex where the reclining Buddha is housed in all his splendor.
This was an impressive sight and one which merited a number of photos. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reclining_Buddha)
Then it was time for our first journey in the classic
Bangkok / Thai transport phenomenon that is the Tuk Tuk…
These remarkable little machines vary somewhat, but are
typically three wheelers built around a motorcycle engine – two stroke or four
stroke – with a little “platform” behind for the passengers to sit in. They
stink, they’re noisy, they’re bloody uncomfortable and they’re actually not
that cheap compared to cabs often, but they are fun . . .until they break down.
As mine did. Obviously.
My travelling companions thought it highly amusing that my
Tuk Tuk broke down – rapidly reaching the conclusion that my size and weight
must have been too much for the little machine. (In fact it was more likely to
do with the fact that the particular Tuk Tuk hadn’t seen a mechanic this
millennium – but hey . . .).
After a 15 minute wait by the road, another Tuk Tuk driver
approached – clearly a contact of our driver – and we climbed aboard. My fellow
passenger was the smallest person on our party – the very definition of "petite" – so we
made amusing viewing for onlookers.
Our new driver was clearly Bangkok’s answer to the young
Michael Schumacher and we set off at an incredible pace through the traffic,
navigating our way through gaps that frankly looked too tight for a bicycle, let alone a Tuk Tuk at top speed. I
gripped the metal bars around me for dear life. And then we hit some corners. .
.
My weight, combined with a distinct lack of “counterbalance”
from my fellow passenger meant that we took several right handers on two
wheels, with our driver demonically grinning as he looked back at us and not at
the on-coming traffic.
Thankfully we were delivered in one piece to an eaterie
where we ate expensive (by Thai standards) food before heading off on the
“skytrain” – overland metro – to the “seedy” part of town.
I have to say, not only do I have absolutely no interest in
going to strip bars and sex shows (been there, done that, many years ago in other
parts of the world) I couldn’t help but feel that it is precisely the naïve
grinning tourist who thinks it’s all a bit of a laugh to go and watch women
humiliate themselves in front of sweaty westerners with bizarre sex shows that
perpetuates and indeed validates the sprawling Thai /Bangkok sex industry.
Moreover, it is certain that these dens of iniquity do not
just include the strip shows and “ping pong” shows, but also provide the
gateway for entering into the world of child prostitution that Bangkok is
unfortunately also infamous for and other sordid, sick and exploitative acts. I
argued this case to my companions – apparently on deaf ears – and returned to
the hotel for an early night prior to the early start the next day . . . the day of the Tiger.
To be continued . . .
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