Venice Biennale #7 - Il Ritorno...

And so the weekend comes to an end...

A two day excursion to VIP land and Venice combined - with a little art and pasta thrown in.

I have mazmiz'd Venice with great delight and had a very pleasurable time.

Seeing this city after so many years has been wonderfully refreshing. The return to the Land of the Sand a slightly depressing reality - although it is home in some sort of way and that is always comforting...

I think I may come back here in the autumn for a long weekend - a far more agreeable season than summer to enjoy this city - and perhaps devote some more time to photography and strolling.

While the "art crowd" are not my cup of tea generally, it has been nice to be in an environment where art belongs. It has also been good to see the Arab world represented at this Biennale - and important to see the level of participation and acceptance of different points of view and perspectives.

One thing I will advocate is the total and outright ban on "talking about art". If you have an opinion, please write about it or just think, but don't speak it.

"It was the use of acrylics in such a daring fashion that altered the paradigm and signified the replacement of the ego with a social dimension"...

"I couldn't believe the Russian exhibit - so banal dear. I was expecting to emote much more..."

"Her work moves me like a visual poem, stirring my soul. I particularly liked the used tires and bucket of saliva."

And so on...

I would rather have people eat crunchy apples in my ear than hear people talk about art... Apart from sounding incredibly pretentious regardless of the content and who is saying it, it is such a personal and subjective subject matter that to talk about it out loud is just plain wrong!

Once the wisdom of my ban has been accepted, punishment for talking about art out loud will include listening to others talk about art for hours on end. In particular to Americans and Germans - whom I had the great misfortune to be placed next to while trying to consume a cup of coffee this morning.

Other punishments will include the wearing of 50 dollar trousers to parties (men) and skirts which make the wearer's bum look enormous (for the ladies who talk about art out loud). These will be combined with cheap and unfashionable shoes and accessories.

I will start drafting the legislation now...

Venice Biennale #1 - Planes, Trains and Water Taxis...

Ok...so I lied about the trains...



After an uneventful flight (except for my fashion crimes - which thankfully seem to have been left unpunished) I arrived in Venice.



It's been about 15 years or more since I was last here and I had forgotten just how beautiful it is. Stunning and unique.



I went to get my water taxi ticket at the airport stands - as my hotel had advised - and found instead that there were NO water taxis today or tomorrow. I enquired as to why and was told it was due to the Biennale and only pre-booked water taxis were available. Exactly the OPPOSITE to the information given to my PA by the hotel...



Curiously although the Venetians have worked out that the Biennale creates extra tourism and traffic, instead of responding with more water taxis and services, they shut them down instead. Smart.



I did some shouting in English, the woman just looked at me with a "f@ck you pal" expression and I wandered off muttering Italian swear words under my breath - which made me feel only moderately better...



Her last advice was to walk to the jetty and see if there was a water taxi going to my hotel that had been pre-booked by someone else and see if there was a space.



So I walked the 10 minutes to the jetty with my bags and asked at all the water taxi stations. The response was a clear cut "impossible". Great.



I am now on public transport - an experience I haven't had for some time - on my way to Piazza San Marco. I will then try and figure out where the hell my hotel is.



Once I get there and have checked in I will do some shouting at reception about the quality of their travel information and advice - and then I shall have a drink and start people watching - a massively popular sport in Italy....



But as I draw closer to Venice proper across the water I am beginning to relax already, such is her majesty and splendour...



Now if I can just get the two gay Germans next to me stop talking for five minutes, I will be truly happy...