Day Seven - Houston, TX to Oklahoma City, OK

After a much needed rest in Houston, I headed back up I-45 towards Oklahoma aiming to get back on Route 66 by the evening.

The road going up was less full of "Used Armadillo" but I did see the most impressive road kill to date - a wolf. Whoever hit that wolf must have done some pretty serious damage to their vehicle - unless it was one of the myriad of 128 wheeler trucks that seem to own this stretch of road in Texas. I am assuming the only bigger road kill I may see will be a "highway worker" - probably lying next to a cheque for $10,000 (or at least if it was in Missouri - here in Texas Highway Workers may be free - who knows?)

Remarkable place names abound in Texas - again displaying the American fondness for appropriating place names from other cities or even entire countries. The Lebanese from Lebanon, Missouri are sure to be relieved to have some brethren in Texas. I am talking of the Palestinians from Palestine, who live not far away from a town called Italy, Texas. That in turn is near Athens, Texas which is in the same time zone (i.e. within driving distance) of Paris, Texas - made famous by the great Wim Wender's film of the same name....

Bizarre to say the least.

Interestingly, while in Houston I chatted with a Palestinian immigrant (from Jerusalem - the original Jerusalem - not the Jerusalem that will inevitably be located near Shitsville, Nebraska....). He told me there were around 125,000 Arabs in Houston and that life had been good to them - the majority being Lebanese and Palestinian (again, the genuine article). However, they were all now considering another place as their next stop climbing the ladder of prosperity and security. A place in the Middle East which offers them the best of America - opportunity, freedom, comparative safety - but without the bigotry, racism and distance from home (both literally and in terms of being far from their culture). That place? Dubai - of course.

In fact, I noticed a distinct similarity between Dubai and some of America's larger and more prosperous cities like Houston. Large immigrant population, an economy which has had to diversify and a growth of urban and suburban districts springing from the ground with "perfect" gated communities living in a Truman Show like environment where even the Town Square and "neighbourhood" have been instantly and artifically created to give a sense of comfort, home and security.

Of course communities don't grow like this - they need time and an opportunity to grow their own identity away from the schemes and dreams of architects, master planners and entrepreneurial real estate developers.

Interesting that the American Dream is beginning to become tarnished enough for some immigrants to want to return to where they came from....

Anyway, I guess there is one country whose name the Texans won't steal to name a new city . . . and that country would be Iraq....

Day Six - Layover in Houston, TX

Lazy day so far catching up with sleep and ensuring my bacon count is high enough.

American coffee sucks. There are no two ways about it. It's black water. Weak, flavourless and utterly pointless. No wonder so many places give refills away for free - it would be criminal to charge for it. Having drunk a bucket of the stuff for breakfast I am now off to plug into Starbucks and get a hit of the real stuff before heading into Houston central to see a client on a social visit and then GET ME AN I-PHONE. AMEN.

I considered Darwin's theory of evolution last night before sleeping and came to the conclusion that there is a new way of testing his theory on the highways of the USA. Road Kill.

I have been closely monitoring the road kill on the roads so far and have seen dogs, cats, rabbits, small rodents and numerous Armadillo. (Is Armadill-i the plural of Armadillo? Does anyone care?).

By my reckoning the Armadillo has evolved the least and fundementally failed to adapt to its environment based on the fact that they are leading two to one against any other species in terms of becoming road kill across the US.

Indeed Armadillos must be only marginally less dumb than the bald headed, tattooed truck drivers who squish them with their 48 wheeler monsters which tear down the highways like weapons of mass destruction.

Incidentally, in Missouri there were road signs on the side of the Freeway stating the following:

Do not hit workers.
Fines of $10,000 or loss of licence

I was shocked that the average American motorist had to be REMINDED not to run down innocent labourers fixing the highway . . .

"Homer, remember not to mow down any workers today while we drive to the West . . . "

"Doh! Oooops - sorry Marge."

"Homer! I guess it was only one, so it doesn't matter."

Even more alarming is that the penalty for hitting a worker is just $10,000 or losing your licence! No jail time or public persecution - extraordinary. [On a side note, I was reading USA Today this morning and there was an interesting article about a young man who was sentenced to ten years in jail in Georgia when he was 17 years old for "receiving oral sex" from a girl aged 15. What a country! Run down a worked on the highway and get a $10,000 fine. But a blow job and its 10 years in jail. . .Jesus wept.]

Fortunately I have not seen any "workers" joining the ranks of the Armadillo - but then the trip ain't over yet!

Now, that i-Phone . . .

Day Five - Tulsa, OK to Oklahoma City, OK then a detour to Texas....

Today began bright and early at 5.30am when I awoke and couldn't get back to sleep. Must have been my body reacting to the steamed broccoli I had managed to locate and have for dinner the previous evening...(To be fair the broccoli came with a garnish of a baked potato and a 12oz top Sirloin steak...ahem)

Anyway, after cleaning out the breakfast buffet of bacon and coffee I set of from Tulsa and travelled original Route 66 for about an hour along narrow windy roads until getting bored with going slowly and headed off for the turnpike to Oklahoma City which follows the Route - but not religiously. A bit like me.

Oklahoma City is oh so pretty - as the original song lyrics of Route 66 say. And they're not wrong. The city is very pretty with some very nice old churches dotted about and a nice sense of scale. The outskirts were ugly by contrast and I saw rather more of them than intended as my GPS - Janice as I like to call her - got all confused....

I then headed south towards Texas through some lovely countryside at the southern end of Oklahoma before hitting Texas proper and on to Dallas where the traffic was terrible.

There was a way of avoiding the traffic - The President George Bush Turnpike - but I refused this option on principle. Particularly galling was the idea of paying to be on a road of that name....

Anyway, I toughed it out and nearly ran out of gas before hitting the main freeway south to Houston.

The Texans are crap drivers. Full stop. They hog lanes, they drive at stupid speeds (either too fast or too slow) and they duck and dive in traffic. BUT - this is Texas and so I refrained from advising them of their errors as I believe I am quite allergic to bullets and they dish them out down here with massive generosity.

Music today has been great - Mark Knopfler and Emmylou Harris on their recent country collaboration album - "All the Roadrunning". His great guitar and rough voice - her amazing clear and tender voice (considered one of the all time great female country vocalists).

Then all the JJ Cale music I own for hours - starting with Call Me The Breeze which had me turn the volume up to full and through Cocaine and After Midnight to Drifter's Wife and so on. Cale is a troubador in the original sense of singing story tellers. Simple, subtle and THE perfect road music for America.

Finally a return to some Sheryl Crow and repeat plays at full volume of "Run baby, Run" - definitely being added to my list of all time classic road anthems and then The Dixie Chicks again. They come from Dallas but have been demonised in their own state for making a derogatory remark about President Bush (see yesterday's post) so I thought I would support them in the Lone Star state they call home by playing them loud and proud in the car (albeit at the risk of getting shot by an angry Texan).

My main observations of the day are that America is very big indeed. I drove nearly 600 miles today and on the map what I drove is a rather short and unimpressive little line.

And, oh yes, Americans are VERY fat.

I had a quick bite at a roadside burger emporium - NOT McDonald's I hasten to add - and the combined weight of the four staff must have been close to a metric ton. I have never seen fatter people in such a confined space - hardly a great advertisement for the products they serve. But fat people - and I mean REALLY fat people - are everywhere in the US.

They live on junk food, do no exercise and turn into greasy behemoths. Apart from almost instant revulsion at the fattest - you end up feeling sorry for them. It seems like they just don't know any better. Moreover, the difficulty you have finding something wholesome and healthy to eat in this country is staggering - particularly by the roadside which is a mass of fast food dives and burger stands.

Anyway - I am beginning to form some first conclusions about America and Americans today which I will elaborate on tomorrow or the next day....

I am taking a "day off" from the trail tomorrow and doing some shopping in Houston and seeing one of my clients whose headquarters are here. Then Thursday it's back up to rejoin Route 66 and head further west....

Hasta la vista....

Day Four (PM) - Joplin, MO to Tulsa, OK

Having listened to more Blues than is good for anyone during the morning drive through the back roads of Missouri, I switched to Country for the afternoon . . .

The Dixie Chicks - from Dallas, this trio of ladies has put a new face on Country / Rock and managed to piss off virtually every Republican in the United States as well as solicit death threats from some "music lovers" after their lead singer "insulted" George Bush before the war began in Iraq. All she said was she was ashamed that the President of the US was from Texas. (I'm sure another 49 states in the US are very relieved he's not from their state so her comment was really pretty fair - but not for the ultra right of the US who boycotted their albums and concerts as a result - including ceremonies to burn their CDs in public places).

Anyway, this latest album of theirs, "Taking The Long Way" is excellent and thoroughly recommended to anyone driving 2,500 miles across America (the long way!)

Sheryl Crow - country / folk rock singer who is from Missouri, so very fitting for the road trip. A voice and a sound that have spanned more than 20 years in the business with a great crossover from blues to folk to country to rock. And she's hot too. And is another musician who has spoken out strongly against the Bush regime and the war on Iraq.

Townes Van Zandt - for anyone who doesn't know Townes Van Zandt then they should rush to buy his music immediately. A Texan country singer with a particular talent for melancholy and pain, Van Zandt is a troubador who sadly died in 1997 cutting short a career which has influenced many leading musicians who have since covered his work. Waiting Around to Die is an all time classic and the title alone sums up the Van Zandt approach to lyric writing. He also possessed an amazing voice which matches his lyrical output perfectly . . . . for more info on Mr. Van Zandt check http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Townes_Van_Zandt

Just before leaving Missouri I succumbed to a Route 66 souvenir shop in Carterville - just outside Webb City. The owner was a pleasant enough guy initially and had even heard of Dubai - including knowing that the Burj Dubai was due soon to be the tallest building in the world - lots of points for that knowledge. BUT . . . after the initial banter died down and I had committed to a Route 66 T-shirt, he began . . .

This guy was a major Route 66 nerd. I was "told off" for not having visited a Drive In Movie Theatre from the 1950s in some tiny town somewhere which isn't even on Route 66. I was castigated for not having an official Route 66 road book with maps and history (promptly purchased on the spot) and bemoaned for using GPS SatNav to get myself around.

I then had a guided tour of his shop - which, of course, was an original gas station in the 1930s serving Route 66 traffic and which this guy had bought and was now turning into his house as well as his shop. His wife must be delighted.

To be fair to him, his passion was admirable (if not contagious), but it did raise a question for me about my journey. . .

Is it important to be absolutely faithful to the Route - or is it the "spirit" of the Route that is important?

I.e. Should I try and cover every mile and every bend of the original Mother Road to get my experience or is it simply about crossing America in a car and driving through the countryside and small towns seeing the Americana that is seldom visible?

I had begun my journey with the latter being firmly the approach - but today spent quite a bit of time tearing off the Freeway whenever I spotted the little brown "Historic Route 66" signs and spent perhaps far too much time driving narrow one lane roads through the country at 35 mph.

Some of the sights and landscapes were beautiful and some of the little towns still had some character and the old buildings from the 30s and 40s - to the extent that I found myself getting quite addicted to "authentic" Route 66. That is until I met the shopkeeper - who pushed me back to thinking that it really is about the journey across a massive country and the experience one gets while journeying across this nation.

After amassing my fair share of memorobilia, I continued to weave around small towns and creeks - including a visit to a very impressive Deli in Webb City Missouri which was built in 1931 to serve Route 66 and is still in pristine condition today. I sat at the counter in front of the original soda fountain and drank a "Lemon Phosphate" (basically fresh lemonade with soda) and took some photos of the place which was like walking into a time machine.

Then off to Kansas for a brief visit before crossing the State Line into Oklahoma and into rain and The Will Roger's Turnpike. The Will Roger's Turnpike is not apparently named after the former Labour and SDP MP in Britain, but after some American celebrity - but it took me fairly swiftly to Tulsa where I am stopping for the night after what has been a long day in the saddle - around 9 hours of driving with very few and short stops.

Tomorrow will see me cross Oklahoma and through to Texas. I have two vows - one is not to listen to depressing music in the morning, no matter how good it is and second is to avoid dining at McDonald's for the third day running.

I know I am in America, but a day without the Blues and attempting to consume something resembling a fresh green vegetable will be a good thing . . .

Day Four - Morning across Missouri

A slow start getting out of St. Louis and a hunt for a gas station before hitting empty.

Then off on the original road for Route 66 along Gravois Avenue / Road....

Then I-44 for a while and on to original Route 66 again.

Sounds were all Blues this morning - Mance Lipscomb, Clifton Chenier (zydeco music from New Orleans) and more Lightnin' Hopkins - plus some Willie Dixon, Roosevelt Sykes and more...

Off the beaten track and you see another America - one without Wi-fi, without Interstate Highways and one without much progress in the last 50 years.

Made a stop at a "Country Store" in the heart of Southern Missouri to get gas and take a nature break. A lot of men round here with sleeveless shirts, baseball caps and tattoos - all seamingly by the name of Earl and Floyd... And they are very scary in their pick up trucks complete with gun racks....

As you drive down Route 66 you see the villages and towns that once prospered from this rich artery until Eisenhower introduced the Interstate Highway system having been inspired by the German Autobahn system he had seen in the war. Straight, wide lines across the country making travel speedy and direct - but leaving lots of small communities without an income from gas stations, diners and motels.

Lots of great American place names in Missouri - Eureka - surely the town of constant discovery and Doolittle Missouri - a natural landing pad for the indolent were two favourites.

I notice that many towns feel the need for a strapline - some of which are so bereft of imagination it is shocking. Lebanon, Missouri is subtitled "Friendly people, friendly place".... Just like the real Lebanon in the Middle East - except this one doesn't have the Israelis leaning on it all the time....I assume the people of Lebanon, Missouri refer to themselves as "Lebanese"?

A quick stop for some McCholesterol at lunchtime outside Joplin and then it's just 18 miles to my first waypoint in Kansas - the state that has just 13 miles of Route 66 before it heads into Oklahoma.... And my road then takes me to Tulsa...